Thursday, September 2, 2010

"In Praise of Telling Too Soon"

This article on perfectly described my experience.

I am so glad I told the people I did early on. Because I told, I got to have the joy and fun of people being excited with us, and I also received enormous support and sympathy when people found out about our loss. I never could have faked being okay if no one had known what happened.

So, I tell other women to tell everyone-share your joy. It doesn't hurt anything. Hiding in the dark when you are grieving one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through is worse than having to "un-tell." I also think it is sad to go through the first three months of a pregnancy assuming you will miscarry. It's hard not to, but even those of us who have suffered a loss should try to be happy and cautiously optimistic about a new pregnancy.


  1. i just wanted to say that i completely agree. we told our parents within 1 week of finding out we were expecting. 2 days later i began to m/c. DH said that was why he wanted us to wait before telling anyone. but i disagreed. i told him that while it sucked, i was grateful that i had the support group. without the support group, it would have sucked even more. we will be a bit more cautious if we ever are blessed with another BFP, but it will not be a total secret either. i wanted our baby to know it was loved from the very moment everyone found out. i did not want our baby to pass in the night, with everyone being none the wiser. <3

  2. Ginger, you are an amazing writer! I've seen you around the bump, though I'm more of a lurker so I'm sure you don't know me. My name is Melissa. I've been catching up on your blog and this entry really hit me. We lost our first baby in Dec and had our 2nd BFP the day before you. And this time we decided to just feel free to tell people because we want them by our side no matter what happens.

    In any case, thanks so much for sharing your amazing story. You are a very strong woman!